Dear Rabbonim… An Open Letter from a Survivor Dear Rabbonim, I need your help. I need your help to reinstate my respect in you and In the Torah that you represent. I’ve lost it all and it hurts me tremendously that I have, however, the way things are going, I find it impossible to have any sense of respect for you and the […]

Dear Rabbonim… An Open Letter from a Survivor

Dear Rabbonim,

I need your help. I need your help to reinstate my respect in you and In the Torah that you represent. I’ve lost it all and it hurts me tremendously that I have, however, the way things are going, I find it impossible to have any sense of respect for you and the Torah.

Allow me to explain. I’m a victim of a long and painful molestation story. I was abused for many years and despite the fact that it happened many years ago, I still suffer every single day from it. Yes I do go for therapy. Yes I am on medication and yes I am in two support groups. Yes I am trying my best to heal from it, however abuse is something that leaves lifetime scars and the pain that I’m in now only shows me how much worse I would’ve been, if not for all my work in therapy and groups. I would probably be dead either through suicide or overdose.

A few months ago, there was a story about a “Rav” who abused many people. The story came out a few years ago and not much was done. It came out again a few months ago and again not much was done.

I happen to know a few of his victims, and me being a victim myself, the pain that I’m experiencing from all of the Rabbonim’s non actions is nothing less than debilitating. It’s literally ripping me to shreds.

Where are you Rabbonim? How can you just let this go? How can you claim that it’s not true when you have so many people coming telling you the truth?

How can you claim to represent the Torah when you don’t care if someone is transgressing one of the worst sins in the Torah? How can you get up in shul and speak about the importance of learning and keeping The Torah laws to the fullest when one of your people are transgressing laws and you’re not doing anything about it.

Please help me understand how in the world am I supposed to respect you and the Torah that you represent??? We all keep the same Torah and in my Torah it says that you are not allowed to molest people. Do you keep a different Torah than we do??? How can you stand up for a serial sex abuser who does whatever he wants and is able to get away with whatever he wants?

What does that mean to me? What does that show me? That either you are a fraud or the Torah is a fraud. Either you are a fraud because you’re not representing the Torah correctly or you’re representing it correctly but the Torah itself is a fraud.

So being that I don’t want to believe the Torah is a fraud, I decided to throw you all away and just keep the Torah.

But who am I supposed to go to for questions? Who am I supposed to look up to? Who are my role models? Who can I tell my children to look up to? Should I tell them to look up to the non Jewish Society where sexual abuse is taken much more seriously?

Explain to me where I’m wrong! Explain to me why you don’t care about abuse and all the insane pain that comes from it. Do you have a heart? Do you care? Do you not understand what we are going through? If you do then you must not care about us and if you don’t understand than please go out and watch us. Watch us for a few days. Watch our pain and anguish that we experience all day every day. If you don’t want to go out and learn this then I ask you to please step down from your post. You are not qualified to serve as a Rav in today’s generation. You are apparently either not strong enough or not smart enough or you don’t care enough. Any of the above necessitates you to step down and get another job.

– A Survivor

Posted in media, news-articles, op-eds, survivors-letters.


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