I’m still suffering years later To my abuser, When will I move on, when will I heal? When will your abuse stop feeling so real? When will it change? When will it stop? Will I ever climb this mountain will I ever reach the top? Why did you hurt me? Why didn’t you care? Why did you put me through […]

I’m still suffering years later

To my abuser,

When will I move on, when will I heal?
When will your abuse stop feeling so real?

When will it change? When will it stop?
Will I ever climb this mountain will I ever reach the top?

Why did you hurt me? Why didn’t you care?
Why did you put me through a living nightmare?

You robbed me of my childhood innocence,
You threw me into a life of terror and turbulence.

You’ve caused me so much pain and suffering,
You’ve switched my life from living to just barely coping.

It’s been years since I’ve felt those nasty hands on me,
Yet I shudder ever time I get a new painful memory.

You stole the most sacred part of my marriage,
Whenever I engage in those behaviors, all I see is your nasty image.

Will I ever forgive you? I don’t think I ever could.
When you took away the most beautiful part of my adulthood.

You’ve taught me intimacy in the most horrible and disgusting way,
And now years later I’m still suffering from the damage and decay.

You’ve acted like an animal with your poisonous hands,
Forcing me to listen to your selfish commands.

You’ve extinguished the light inside my heart,
Ripping me to shreds, tearing me apart.

When I think of you I feel so nauseated and sick,
You acted like an animal who’s gone insane and manic.

However, One day I will heal, one day I will move on,
I will continue this battle until I’m completely done.

I will climb this mountain of healing and growth,
It’s my own personal goal, it’s my own private oath.

I will reach the top and will call out to you from there,
Look how much I’ve grown despite all my pain so severe.

Animals don’t change so I know you’re still down there,
Doing your daily routine, not bothering to care.

Over all the pain that you’ve inflicted in my pure and vulnerable body,
Causing me so much hurt, leaving me feeling so disgusting and dirty.

So I ask you who won, was it me or was it you?
Look at where you’re at and look how much I grew!

Posted in news-articles, op-eds, survivors-letters, wall-of-shame.


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