MINIMIZING ONE-ON-ONE IN MORE CASUAL SITUATIONS

Whether it’s an established karate studio or an in-home piano teacher, there are things we can look for and require to make after school activities safer for our kids. If your child is going to someone’s home, find out where the lessons will be taking place, if you are allowed to stay during the visit, […]

CARETAKERS AND BABYSITTERS

You are obviously putting a great amount of responsibility into the hands of this person. They are alone in your home (or theirs) with your children. You cannot do a background check on someone who is under 18. Hiring a babysitter/caretaker that you feel confident in is important. Don’t put your children in a situation […]

YOUTH SERVING ORGANIZATIONS

Many organizations may already have in place or are working to put into place a protocol for minimizing the sexual abuse of children. This mostly applies for large organizations that are at greater risk, and their insurance companies are actually requiring that they have protocol in place to minimize opportunity as well as reporting procedures. […]

PEOPLE OF AUTHORITY

These are people whom we hold a level of respect for that may or may not work with children. We want to believe they are responsible, good, caring people. Rabbis, teachers, doctors, policemen, business owners, coaches, youth leaders, tutors, clergy, babysitters, caretakers, etc. We must accept that these people are just that – people. We cannot […]

SPECIAL CAUTION REQUIRED FOR CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES

The pattern of targeting and grooming is of particular importance in relation to disabled children and as mainstream services become more vigilant, perpetrators may move into other less attentive services, such as voluntary agencies that serve disabled children and young people, in order to access potential victims. Any visible disabilities might mark a child out […]

A WARNING FOR SINGLE PARENTS

“I cannot say enough words of caution to single women with children: do not allow the men you are dating to have access to your children… It is hard to think that your new-found romantic interest is actually not as interested in you as in seeking access to your children, but it can be absolute […]

EVEN IF THERE ARE NO SIGNS – ASK

Some children show no signs of abuse. Most children will not tell.  It is good parenting to check-in with our children and ask if anything inappropriate has ever happened to them. Remind them that no matter what has happened, whatever anyone has ever said or made them feel, it is never their fault, and that […]

HOW DO CHILDREN EXPOSE SEXUAL ABUSE

Child sexual abuse is largely an unwitnessed and often undetected crime. Research suggests that most cases of child sexual abuse are never disclosed to authorities (Martin & Silverstone, 2013). In New South Wales (NSW), the proportion of risk of significant harm (ROSH) reports1 made concerning child sexual abuse to the Child Protection Helpline has risen […]

IDENTIFYING POSSIBLE SIGNS OF ABUSE

Children Cannot Be Held Responsible For Their Own Safety Childhood should be about so many amazing things. Sure there will be trials and tribulations that they will work through, but sexual abuse should not be one of them. It is our responsibility to educate ourselves to better identify possible abuse. Often the signs and symptoms […]

WHY CHILDREN DON’T TELL

There are a myriad of reasons why children don’t tell, but almost always, an abuser must mentally and emotionally brainwash a child in order to perpetrate. It can be heartbreaking to learn what abusers say and make children think during the abuse. The child may not be old enough to understand that they are being […]

UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF SEXUAL ABUSE

Different survivors react to their experiences differently. This does not necessarily depend on what happened physically. A survivor who has been raped will not necessarily be more damaged than a survivor who has been touched. The degree of damage depends on the degree of traumatic sexualization, stigmatization, betrayal, and powerlessness that the child has experienced. […]

WHAT A PREDATOR LOOKS FOR

When interviewed, convicted child sex-offenders admitted to being very particular about the children they chose to abuse. They looked for children that were loners or seemed less-confident and in need of attention/affection/love. They exploited this need, showing interest, making the child feel loved, and in turn used that emotional connection to perpetrate their bodies. The […]

AGE-APPROPRIATE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

It can be hard to acknowledge that all of us, even children, are sexual beings, have sexual feelings and are curious about sex and sexuality. Children’s curiosity can lead to exploring their own and each other’s body parts by looking and touching. They may peek when family members are in the bathroom or changing clothes […]

CHILDREN THAT ABUSE

This may be one of the biggest reality-checking curveballs regarding child sexual abuse: Who would have ever thought that up to 40% of abusers were older or more powerful children? Generally, an age difference of 3 years or more is enough for the older child to be aware that what he/she is doing is wrong. […]

WOMEN THAT ABUSE

It is hard to get solid statistical evidence to support just how often it happens because so many victims abused by women tell much less than those abused by men. Many victims don’t think people will believe them. Many don’t realize they were being abused until they are older. Although limited research exists, it is suggested […]

ABUSE WITHIN THE FAMILY UNIT – INCEST

Incest is allowed to thrive when people lack the fortitude to accept that it exists. The attitude that it happens in “other” families but couldn’t happen in our own, puts children at risk. It could involve grooming or not, because most often the sense of trust, affection, and love have already been established between the […]

ABUSERS NEED OPPORTUNITY

In most cases, abusers seek or take advantage of being in a position of trust in a one-on-one situation with a child: a bedroom, a bathroom, a car, a place out of view of other people.They either happen upon an opportunity or they need you to trust them alone with your child. Many may offer to […]

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

This is what you can look for to potentially identify grooming behaviors of sexual abusers of children. This applies not only to your children, but even for friends/relatives. You may see behavior that the child’s parent may miss or fall prey to. But keep in mind that seeing these signs does NOT mean this person […]

GROOMING

Groomers are patient. They’re often intelligent, friendly, and helpful. They don’t want to get caught – but they may push the limit to see how much they can get away with without being caught. They seek to establish an abusive relationship with a child that will be repetitive.Predatory offenders, especially, are invested in their pursuit […]

MOTIVATION TO OFFEND

We may never have the exact answer what specifically drives offenders, and no two predators think and act alike. While pedophiles are specifically driven by sexual-attraction to children, non-pedophilic perpetrators may be motivated by:  A sense of excitement and satisfaction in grooming and manipulating not only the child they’re abusing, but even in deceiving the […]

PREDATORY OFFENDERS VS “OPPORTUNISTIC” PREDATORS

Many predatory abusers premeditate abuse, fantasize about sexual interaction with children, often view pornography or child pornography, select their victims carefully, and invest effort and time to groom them into submission. They prefer children, not necessarily because of sexual attraction but because of their vulnerability and ability to manipulate. Opportunistic offenders acknowledge an opportunity that […]

THERE IS NO STEREOTYPE FOR OFFENDERS

They can be the most educated, the most good-looking, the rich, the do-gooders. Women and children too. Perhaps naturally, or even through media outlets (tv, movies etc), we come to think of sexual predators as these sneaky, sleazy characters. If that were the case, kids wouldn’t be at as great of a risk. We could more […]

ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH

Remind your children every month or two what you have taught them. Use real-life examples to explain what you mean. A child that understands that Mommy and Daddy have different private parts or wants to know where the baby comes out of the mother’s body is deserving a conversation. It is good for them to […]

RECOGNIZING RED FLAG AND WARNING SIGNS

A sex offender continually seeks ACCESS AND PRIVACY with their intended target as part of their manipulation and grooming process. In addition, there are often other warning signs and behaviors that can indicate that someone may not be safe for your child to be around. Use common sense, monitor certain relationships that others have with your child, […]