A mother’s Eicha

Admin’s Note: Yesterday we posted a letter from a mother whose child had been abused by a cousin, here is a personal version of Eicha she submitted to JCW.

Photo for illustration purposes only.

איכה ישבה בדד העיר רבתי עם

How is it possible that me, a family person, one who has kept my family together sits alone?

בכו תבכה בלילה בדמעתה על לחי-ה אין לה מנחם מכל אהבי-ה… כל רעי-ה בגדו בה… היו לה לאויבים

I cry at night, tears streaming down my cheeks. No one is here to validate me or my child’s feelings. All my family – my family who I was so close to and relied on me turned into my enemies. Nobody stood by my side at the time of my need.

דרכי ציון אבלות מבלי באי…

My path, my home is in אבילות from my family breaking off from me by distancing themselves for no good reason.

היו צרי-ה לראש…

Those that I cared for, was devoted to, was good to, those that I did חסד for became “powerful” over me.

ויצא מבת ציון כל הדרה היו שרי-ה כאילים לא מצאו מרעה וילכו בלא כח לפני רודף

All my goodness and closeness to my family has been lost. All the good that I have done to help my siblings has been forgotten. I have not found מרעה, nobody who understands me. I go without strength and without food in order to protect my child’s safety לפני רודף – before evil people who are trying to destroy my children and I.

זכרה ירושלים ימי עני-ה… ואין עוזר לה ראוה צרים שחקו על משבתי-ה

I remember and look back at the good times we spent as a happy family. Now there is nobody to help. They laugh at me, scorn me, and I feel that they rejoice at my misfortune.

ידו פרש צר על כל מחמדי-ה…

Mr. K. a self-made askan, destroyed the family’s close relationship, a relationship that was strong and that we all enjoyed.

ממרום שלח אש בעצמותי וירדנה פרש רשת לרגלי…

ה’ you sent me this fire, you sent me this נסיון. ה’ you threw a net around my feet. I am tied I do not know where to turn, or how to free myself from this ugly mess.

סלה כל אבירי ה’ בקרבי קרא מועד לשבר בחורי…

ה’ you split the closeness that I had with my family. They all ganged up against me in order to destroy my sons and daughters.

על אלה אני בוכי-ה איני איני ירדה מים

Because of this I cry, my husband cries, my children cry. Sadly there is nobody to comfort us.

היו בני שוממים my children have become bereft of their family.

כי גבר איוב because the enemy got stronger over us as they united for their noble cause of destroying  and humiliating my children.

צדיק הוא ה’ כי פיהו מריתי

ה’ I accept your judgement. ה’ I accept this נסיון.

קראתי למאהבי המה רמוני…

I called upon my family for support to help me keep my children safe, for somebody to take אחריות of the perpetrator, sadly they turned their back on me.

ראה ה’ כי צר לי… נהפך לבי בקרבי

Look ה’ it is bitter for me. My insides are twisted. I cannot eat, sleep, think lucid, neither can I daven. חרב בבית במות in my home my children have a distraught mother.

שמעו כי נאנחה אני… כל איבי שמעו רעתי ששו…

All my family hear my sighs, my pain and it seems like they’re gleeful to see me suffering.

תבא כל רעתם לפניך ועולל למו כאשר עוללת

ה’ please remember their sins and punish them. No ה’ I really do not want them to get what they deserve from my pain. However if Mr. K the self-made askan is behind this terror act let him get his share of immense suffering and pain especially for taking away my parent’s right hand (me as a daughter helping them on a constant basis).

השיבנו ה’ אליך ונשובה חדש ימינו כקדם

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