WHAT TO LOOK FOR

This is what you can look for to potentially identify grooming behaviors of sexual abusers of children. This applies not only to your children, but even for friends/relatives. You may see behavior that the child’s parent may miss or fall prey to. But keep in mind that seeing these signs does NOT mean this person […]

GROOMING

Groomers are patient. They’re often intelligent, friendly, and helpful. They don’t want to get caught – but they may push the limit to see how much they can get away with without being caught. They seek to establish an abusive relationship with a child that will be repetitive.Predatory offenders, especially, are invested in their pursuit […]

MOTIVATION TO OFFEND

We may never have the exact answer what specifically drives offenders, and no two predators think and act alike. While pedophiles are specifically driven by sexual-attraction to children, non-pedophilic perpetrators may be motivated by:  A sense of excitement and satisfaction in grooming and manipulating not only the child they’re abusing, but even in deceiving the […]

PREDATORY OFFENDERS VS “OPPORTUNISTIC” PREDATORS

Many predatory abusers premeditate abuse, fantasize about sexual interaction with children, often view pornography or child pornography, select their victims carefully, and invest effort and time to groom them into submission. They prefer children, not necessarily because of sexual attraction but because of their vulnerability and ability to manipulate. Opportunistic offenders acknowledge an opportunity that […]

THERE IS NO STEREOTYPE FOR OFFENDERS

They can be the most educated, the most good-looking, the rich, the do-gooders. Women and children too. Perhaps naturally, or even through media outlets (tv, movies etc), we come to think of sexual predators as these sneaky, sleazy characters. If that were the case, kids wouldn’t be at as great of a risk. We could more […]

ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH

Remind your children every month or two what you have taught them. Use real-life examples to explain what you mean. A child that understands that Mommy and Daddy have different private parts or wants to know where the baby comes out of the mother’s body is deserving a conversation. It is good for them to […]

RECOGNIZING RED FLAG AND WARNING SIGNS

A sex offender continually seeks ACCESS AND PRIVACY with their intended target as part of their manipulation and grooming process. In addition, there are often other warning signs and behaviors that can indicate that someone may not be safe for your child to be around. Use common sense, monitor certain relationships that others have with your child, […]

PREVENTION TIPS FOR PARENTS

Use the anatomically correct terms for private parts. Teach kids to use this language. Teach your child that it’s ok to say “no” to anyone whose actions make them feel weird, yucky, or uncomfortable. This applies even if it is an adult or an older kid that you know.  Give kids a few active responses they can say if […]

SUPPORTING A CHILD WITH A CLOSE RELATIVE IN PRISON

Should I tell a child when a close relative goes to prison?            All situations are different and there is no right or wrong answer when talking to a child about imprisonment, your personal circumstances can determine what is suitable. It is important to consider the following when talking to a […]

DEALING WITH THE MEDIA

Getting the story When deciding on whether to speak to a journalist you need to know what their motivation is for writing the piece. Usually they are after some kind of ‘story’ – something that is topical, interesting, new and surprising. It will either be for a news story or a longer story called a […]

UNDERSTANDING THE STRUGGLES OF THE FAMILIES OF OFFENDERS

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY Hi to all. No disrespect aimed at the victims of crime whatsoever but I think that families of those who have committed crime get a rough deal all round too. My partner committed a serious offence last year when I was ready to give birth to our daughter. He […]

SURVIVORS OF INCEST ANONYMOUS

An Introduction to Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA) We welcome you to Survivors of Incest Anonymous and hope you will find here the hope, camaraderie, and recovery that we have been privileged to experience. We are a spiritual, self-help group of women and men, 18 years or older, who are guided by a set of […]

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF SOMEONE I KNOW IS A VICTIM OF INCEST?

Listen. One of the most important things that you can do for a victim is to listen to their story and believe them! Help keep the victim safe. This may mean different things depending on who you are and what your relationship is to the victim. There may be legal considerations. Depending on where you […]

HOW CAN I HELP A CHILD WHO HAS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS?

If you know a child and youth who demonstrates sexual behavior problems, you can help them to learn new healthy and safe behaviors. It’s important for parents and other caregiving adults to act promptly to address a young person’s sexual behaviors.  Treatment providers who specialize in children’s sexual behaviors can help both the child and […]

FORMER CHILD MOLESTER IS GLAD HE WAS CAUGHT

I am not a victim of this hideous crime. Much to my sorrow and that of my family, I am the offender. Ten years ago, I molested my sister. Betsy (not her real name) was only 11 at the time. I was 22. Betsy was too afraid to turn me in to the authorities, so […]

RELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN

A relapse prevention plan is designed to help someone from reoffending. It is written to explain how someone may end up reoffending and how this can be prevented. A relapse prevention plan is set up with several sections in order to make it easier to utilize and understand. The sections are listed below with a description. […]

IF YOU’RE ABUSING A CHILD, STOP!

We know that’s easier said than done. Just as survivors of child sexual abuse need support to move through their healing process, we know you need support to move through your process as well. Inappropriate sexual urges, thoughts, or behaviors relating to children indicates a serious health problem that requires medical attention. In very few cases […]

DO YOU NEED HELP?

Twelve Questions About Your Behavior Only You Can Answer If you are wondering about your own sexual thoughts and behaviors toward children, we encourage you to answer these questions honestly. They are designed to help you decide whether you may need help. Take a few minutes to ask yourself the following twelve questions. If you […]

WHAT IS SEX OFFENDER TREATMENT?

Sex offender treatment is different than other therapies for adults. Sex offender treatment is a serious and encouraging process which focuses on learning specialized strategies for stopping abusive behavior, being accountable and taking responsibility for harm done. For the vast majority of those adults and juveniles who have committed a sexual offense, treatment significantly reduces […]

HOW CAN I FIND CONFIDENTIAL HELP?

If you are concerned about your sexualized thoughts or behaviors towards children, you can call the Stop It Now! confidential, toll-free Helpline at 1.888.PREVENT (1.888.773.8368). No caller ID is used on this line. Check hours. For more than 15 years, Stop It Now! National Helpline has provided a confidential place for thousands of people to […]

ADVANTAGES OF COMING FORWARD IF YOU HAVE ABUSED SOMEONE

“I was in a lot of pain… My big concern was that nobody knew what I did. I didn’t want anybody to know I was a pedophile. I thought, ‘That’s the bottom of the totem pole,’ not realizing that the only way I was NOT going to be a pedophile for life was to get […]

HOW TO CHOOSE A COUNSELOR OR THERAPIST

If you are looking for a therapist, please check out JCW’s Find A Therapist page for assistance. It’s easy to find a counselor, but perhaps more difficult to know if you’ve found one who is right for you. There are a number of questions you can ask that will help you to choose a counselor. This short […]

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR’S SELF ASSESSMENT

Whether you’re just beginning your healing journey or you’ve been working on it for a while, this self assessment tool naturally helps you create a plan for your healing process. Initially when you take the assessment, it will help you to acknowledge the many ways your experience of childhood sexual abuse has impacted your life. […]