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Groomers are patient. They’re often intelligent, friendly, and helpful. They don’t want to get caught – but they may push the limit to see how much they can get away with without being caught. They seek to establish an abusive relationship with a child that will be repetitive.Predatory offenders, especially, are invested in their pursuit – meaning, their whole image that they put off to the public is simply to deceive. The deception of adults is part of their game and often provides them with a feeling of satisfaction.
Groomers Confuse, Coerce, and Control
They look for or have access to a child:
“Molesters of little girls have been known to convince the victims that this overpowered, manipulated child is the only person who can arouse or satisfy the man. Female victims of this ruse perpetrated by a father or stepfather recall feeling as if it was their responsibility to keep the family intact, or that it had become their “job” within the family to keep the other kids safe from his advances.”
– Janet Rosenzweig, “The Sex-Wise Parent”
Groomers Seek to Gain Trust
Many abusers rely on the trust of adults, especially parents. They need you to trust them with your child, because the last thing they want is to be suspected or questioned. They are often friendly, helpful people because they want you to feel comfortable around them. They may establish themselves in the community as reliable and charitable in order to establish a comfort zone, where even if they were accused of abuse, no one would believe it.An abuser can be a spouse, an extended family member, a friend, a romantic interest, a neighbor, a friend, a coach, or anyone that will have direct access to your child and the ability to develop a relationship with them. A person may even befriend or show romantic interest in you, to gain access to your children.
Groomers will Confuse and Control Others
Sections on this page have been adapted from TheMamaBearEffect.
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