Nothing more painful

There is nothing more painful in this world then having to deal with it.
The pain I feel cannot be described in words.
It’s been 11 years since it happened, yet I still hear that voice, yet I still feel the touch.
A woman who was not a human but a monster, no not a monster, a devil.
A devil who put me in more pain then any person can imagine, a pain so close to my heart.
A pain the tears my soul a pain that makes me wake up in the middle of the night praying to God it will all go away. That pain is the pain of trauma, post traumatic stress, depression, anxiety
The shame I have in my heart, for I was only four and could not scream or yell.
I felt like nothing more than a worthless piece of ****
I have done nothing wrong, nor did I deserve to have my innocence taken away from me.
I was so young, what the hell was that horrible woman thinking?
Putting me in a dark room with one light in the middle of the room “lets play nurse” she said.
A nurse that murdered and slaughtered my innocence, right out of me.
Because of her not only am I scared of love but also of touch.
I have no more words to say except lady, I hope you burn in hell.

Posted in effects-of-sexual-assault, news-articles, survivors-letters.