The scars of my past

By Bracha Braun

Summer is coming. It’s a time when I always get stares for the scars of my past.

People cannot understand why someone would want to physically harm themselves and I understand that there’s not even a way for me to explain it because you’ve had to have gone through something that made you feel so beyond worthless to know what it feels like. But I’ll say this: even though I may have hid them in previous summers I’m no longer ashamed of the past.

I stare the past straight in the eye every day. I’m ok and I survived things I never thought I could – things most would not have – and I can say I have been stronger than my demons.

For over a year now I have embraced the fact that there was never anything I could have done and that it is all Gods will.

I know some people may be uncomfortable with this topic but it’s real and it exists.

All I can say is I’m super proud of the fact that I can stand here today and respect myself enough to journal or go for a walk instead of self harm

I couldn’t have done it without my support team. And I can actually say that I wouldn’t change my past for anything. Yes, sometimes I crumble, but I always get back up and it’s made me the person that I am today – and I love that person!

To all my fellow victims/survivors don’t hide from the past, it won’t go away. Face it and embrace it.

This pain won’t last forever. I know the pain and I know it seems like it won’t ever go away. Yes, it comes and goes and doesn’t ever vanish, but it fades! This too shall definitely pass!! And thank God for JCW stepping up and helping immediately. When I was young we were on our own. Reach out! You’ll be supported fully and you are most definitely not alone!!!

Posted in op-eds, survivors-letters.