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UNDERSTANDING ABUSERS

TRICKS THAT ABUSERS USE

2015-02-10

If someone threatens them, or does something that they feel is wrong or makes them uncomfortable, you want them to tell you. You will be proud of them for telling you. And more importantly, you want your children to feel comfortable to come to you when they have questions about their bodies, how various parts function, and eventually how their bodies will change during puberty. Many of us know the feeling of going through puberty and feeling afraid or awkward to talk to our parents about it. Isn’t that kind of silly? It’s a part of life and we need to approach the subject with the same amount of comfort and truth as anything else. Open, loving, honest communication is essential.

Talk to your children about these common “tricks” that people might try and let them know they should always come to you if someone says something that scares or makes them feel uncomfortable.

 
What might someone say? 

“I’ll hurt you.” “I’ll hurt ________ .”(A parent, a sibling, a friend, a pet, etc.)
“The police will come after you.”
“Your parents will be mad at you.”
“You’ll be in trouble.”
“No one will believe you.”

“Tricky” things they might say:

“Your parent said this was OK.”
“This is a game.”
“This is our secret.”
“I’ll give you _____.”
“This is what big kids do – don’t be a baby.”
“I thought we were friends.”
“This is what people who love each other do.”
“This will make me happy.”
“Don’t you want to be a good boy/girl?”
“You have to do what I say, I’m ______.”(Older, bigger, person of authority in the family/community)

 

Sections on this page have been adapted from TheMamaBearEffect 

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