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UNDERSTANDING THE STRUGGLES OF THE FAMILIES OF OFFENDERS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY Hi to all. No disrespect aimed at the victims of crime whatsoever but I think that families of those who have committed crime get a rough deal all round too. My partner committed a serious offence last year when I was ready to give birth to our daughter. He […]

UNDERSTANDING THE STRUGGLES OF THE FAMILIES OF OFFENDERS

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY

Hi to all. No disrespect aimed at the victims of crime whatsoever but I think that families of those who have committed crime get a rough deal all round too.
My partner committed a serious offence last year when I was ready to give birth to our daughter.
He had always had a wild streak but had never committed a serious crime before and it left our family absolutely devastated. The stress caused the onset of early labour and I gave birth a month early.
Every night after he was arrested, I went to bed and had nightmares about what he had done and could not get the victims family out of my head. I still can’t but for the sake of my own well-being and my daughters, I am trying to move on the best I can.
I am very unsure about mine and my partners future as he will be locked away for quite some time and I am not prepared to put my life on hold. He has said himself that I should move on because it is unfair that I serve his sentence with him, but we will always have our daughter that keeps us connected to one another.
Six months after he committed the crime, his Father passed away as he started to drink heavily due to what happened. My partner’s brother went off the rails too and has gotten himself heavily in to drugs. It’s pretty much one big mess.
I wouldn’t wish it on anyone to be in this situation. I moved away from the area I lived in because the victims family lived nearby although I hadn’t done anything wrong I thought it better that they didn’t need a constant reminder of my partner when I saw them out shopping etc. I have started a new life elsewhere were I can rebuild a life for myself and my daughter. The consequences of serious crime is indescribable and there are no words that can honestly describe it. We have to move on however painful it is.
Thank you all for raising issues concerning prisoners families. Quite often the public only see one side of the story. Blessings to all.

PERSECUTING THE INNOCENT

I am writing to you on behalf of my neighbour who is a pensioner and a lovely soul.
His son has recently been sent to prison for not a very nice crime but I would rather not go in to detail about it.
Since his son went to prison my neighbour has been targeted by locals in the area. They have thrown bricks through his window, thrown eggs at his door and spit at him every time he walks to the shops. My neighbour has done nothing wrong at all, it was his son who had and is serving time in prison for his actions.
How can people judge someone and inflict so much pain on an elderly person who by the way served for his country and has been an upstanding member of our community?
Yes the crime was an awful one his son committed and his Father (my neighbour) is paying the ultimate price for it which is not fair!
My neighbour has stopped going out to the shops and isn’t sleeping.
I make sure I pop round every day to make sure he is eating and I go to the shops for him.
He is such a lovely gentleman and is absolutely devastated by what his son has done.
The victims family even spat at my neighbour in court! I am very sorry for the victims family but they are out of order for penalizing an innocent man! The shame for him is enough without idiots frightening him to death in his own home!
I will catch them though because I have just installed CCTV! I just cannot believe the mentality of some people punishing someone innocent! Rant over! Thanks for listening.

LEAVE THE FAMILIES OUT OF IT

Hi. I am not sure where to start…
My Brother is in prison and my Mum is at breaking point. Since he was sent to jail 6 months ago she has been having massive panic attacks and has become withdrawn and stopped taking pride in her appearance which is just not like my Mum.
The other week she got a nasty letter through the post which we presume is off someone who knew the victim involved in the crime my Brother committed. The letter was hostile and contained some strong offensive language.
The victim survived but was badly injured and I accept the anger. What I don’t accept is the hate directed at my Mum! She has done absolutely nothing wrong! If the victims family members or friends want to have their say then they should be writing to my Brother asking him questions not my Mum because my Mum cannot simply explain why my Brother did what he did! To be very honest I am sick of reading about prisoners families who are targeted because of their loved ones actions. My Mum has never broken the law and has worked hard all her life and paid her taxes like every other law abiding citizen. I too have never broken the law but my Brother did which is nothing whatsoever to do with Mum and I. I have been a victim of serious crime myself so I can understand some of the pain, but to aim anger at innocent individuals is plain bang out of order.

 

Sections on this page have been taken with permission from: PrisonersFamiliesVoices

Posted in op-eds, relatives-of-offenders.

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