What I mourn on Tisha Bav

I mourn the loss of control on my body
I mourn the loss of my childhood
I mourn the loss of my teen years
I mourn the loss of joy
I mourn the loss of happiness
I mourn the loss of peace
I mourn the loss of self
I mourn the loss of trust
I mourn the loss of intimacy
I mourn the loss of relationship
I mourn the loss of freedom
I mourn the loss of love

I mourn the lack of family
I mount the lack of support
I mourn the lack of appetite
I mourn the lack of caring
I mourn the lack of understanding
I mourn the lack of empathy
I mourn the lack of awareness
I mourn the lack of connection
I mourn the lack of touch

I mourn the loss of self confidence
I mourn the loss of positive body image
I mourn the loss of autonomy
I mourn the loss of inner child
I mourn the loss of clear mind
I mourn the loss of blissfulness
I mourn the loss of trust in community

I mourn the lack of seeing god
I mourn the lack of seeing good
I mourn the lack of seeing positive
I mourn the lack of seeing optimism
I mourn the lack of seeing hope
I mourn the lack of seeing me

I pray for the end of trauma
I pray for the end of pain
I pray for the end of loneliness
I pray for the end of sexual fears
I pray for the end of cptsd
I pray for the end of nightmares
I pray for the end of codependency
I pray for the end of suffering
I pray for the end of being single

I pray for the completion of healing
I pray for the completion of redemption
I pray for the completion of love
I pray for the completion of happiness
I pray for the completion of family
I pray for the completion of self

I pray to god – please let me be able to love you as much as you love me

Posted in news-articles, op-eds, survivors-letters.