Groomers Confuse, Coerce, and Control
- Who doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong sexual behavior.
- Who would be afraid if their abuser threatens them or their family.
- Who feels that they can’t say no because their abuser is someone they trust.
- Who will keep a secret.
- Who lacks a sense of affection/attention from parents and can be brainwashed into believing the abuser loves them.
- Who will be too embarrassed or ashamed to tell his/her parents.
- Who has a history of rebellion and may not be believed if they told.
“Molesters of little girls have been known to convince the victims that this overpowered, manipulated child is the only person who can arouse or satisfy the man. Female victims of this ruse perpetrated by a father or stepfather recall feeling as if it was their responsibility to keep the family intact, or that it had become their “job” within the family to keep the other kids safe from his advances.”
– Janet Rosenzweig, “The Sex-Wise Parent”
Groomers Seek to Gain Trust
Groomers will Confuse and Control Others
- They may go above and beyond to appear nice, helpful, charitable, religious so that if abuse is suspected people will stand by them and defend them.
- Some use their authority or power to oppress others that suspect or know of the abuse that is occurring.
- They may seek out single mothers and try to fill the “fatherly” role the child is missing.
- They may suggest to the parents or others that the child is disturbed, unstable, or a liar to discredit them if they were to tell someone.
- Some abusers are excellent at remaining calm and appear to understand the accuser’s “motive” for alleging the abuse.
- They may try to convince others that the child is unstable or prone toward lying so that they would not be believed if they told.
- Some will even groom police, DSS, & CPS workers to believing them over the victim.
Sections on this page have been adapted from TheMamaBearEffect.